Six years of thinking
by JustFun
Summary: Hermione always loved Draco.But she never went for it because there were 7 reasons to not do so.They're all in their seventh year when she finds all the reasons becoming pointless.Will he fall for her or will he fall for the other girl? DM/HG HP/GW RW/LB


**I didn't read all them fanfics abot Dramione so I'm really sorry if one of you already wrote something like this. I don't think so, I just wanted to mention it. Also I would absolutely love to read some reviews so r&r! Last but not least. I do not own Harry Potter, Hermione or Draco. If you ever thought so you're completely stupid because I wouldn't write fanfictions then, would I? Hell No! I would publish every single word that came into my mind! Because I would be rich and I woul LOVE it! By the way: will J.K. Rowling ever write something new? I think she should write something like "Hogwarts Stories". Oh you could create a sereis out of that! In every episode there would be a new story. One about how Hannah Abbott and anybody fall in love (yes I kinda like Hannah), one about Dramione... I honestly would watch it! Think about it all you super intelligent Hollywood-producers! Anyway on with the story! Hope you enjoy it!**

Prolog

Why do people love others who they're supposed to hate? Why can't you control feelings? How is it possible to love somebody who is an ass and treats you like dirt? The answers to those questions would've certainly helped me. But I didn't know them. How was it possible that I still loved Draco Malfoy after six damn years? It all started in my first year in Hogwarts. No, actually it started before my first year. It happened on platform nine and three-quarters. I remembered it as if it only happened a few seconds ago.

* * *

This was it. Platform nine and three-quarters. I had thought it was a bad joke when I had first read it on the ticket they had sent me with the letter. But after doing some research I had found out that this platform really exists and that you reach it by walking through the barrier between platforms nine and ten. And voilà. Here I was. I took a look around and regarded the children and teens that said goodbye to their parents and hello to their friends. Friends… Gosh, did all wizards already know each other? Was I the only one that knew nobody at all? What if I wouldn't find any friends? What if them wizards were completely out of their minds? I had never met a wizard so it was totally possible that they all were insane. The well-known wave of panic came over me but I got rid of it through a forceful shake of my head.

So I stood there all alone and wondered what I was supposed to do now. I already had said goodbye to my parents before the barrier. I think it gave them the creeps to walk through a wall. Best would be if I looked for a cabin, I figured out. I moved my trolley along the platform, past a red-haired family, past a black family, until I saw a boy. He just stood there, talking to two overweight boys. His hair was platinum blond and his face was the face of an angel. For one moment our eyes met and a slight smile appeared on his perfect face. There was a strange tingle in my stomach, my heart stopped beating for a second and my cheeks became hot. What was this feeling? In the twinkling of an eye he looked away again and I just stood there completely helpless. My knees shivered, my heart beat with a tenfold speed, my hands sweated. What was this? I shook my head and asked a man who stood next to me to help me with the suitcases. He agreed friendly and loaded my suitcases into the train. I thanked him and threw a glance at the blond boy but he was already gone. Sighing I stepped into the train and looked for an empty cabin which wasn't hard to find. I managed to get my suitcases on the overhead compartment. I wanted to be left alone by the madmen as long as possible. Even though the blond boy didn't look insane at all. Rather good. I blushed automatically and grinned like a Cheshire cat. What strange feeling was this and where did it come from?

_**You're in love.**_, a voice inside my head said.

_No, I'm not. That's total garbage. __I'm eleven years old. Eleven-year-olds don't fall in love. Eleven-year-olds think boys are disgusting._

_**So do you think boys are disgusting?**_, the voice asked.

_No, but…_

_**You just aren't like other eleven-year-olds.**_

I got rescued from my inner voice by a girl that opened the door to my cabin and said: "Hi. Are these seats taken?"

"No.", I answered friendly. This girl didn't seem to be insane as well. Maybe wizards actually were like normal persons. The girl heaved her suitcases on the overhead compartment (with some help of mine) and sat down on the seat next to the window, opposite of mine.

"My name is Hannah. Hannah Abbott." She reached out her hand and I took and shook it slightly.

"Hermione. Hermione Granger."

The girl began to babble about this and that and I listened eager of knowledge. Her parents were wizards too, so she knew a lot more about the magical world than I did even though I had read plenty of books about it after I had received the message that I was a witch. After a few minutes the cabin-door opened again and a corpulent boy stood before us. I caught myself becoming excited because I thought that this was one of the two boys that spoke to the blond on the platform and that the angel would stand right behind him and would accompany us any moment. But then I realized nobody was behind the fat boy and that this wasn't even one of the two boys. I was disappointed as hell. The boy in front of me had a stupid-looking face unlike the two other guys that had handsome faces in spite of their weight.

"I-is this… A-are those s-seats t-taken?", he stuttered. Hannah and I shared a quick glance and then I answered: "Nope. Have a seat."

We helped him with his luggage then we seated ourselves.

"What's your name?", I asked after realizing he wouldn't introduce himself.

"Oh.. m-m-my N-name is N-neville L-longbottom.", he said and reached out his hand which I took immediately. "Hermione Granger."

"Hannah Abbott.", Hannah stated and he finally let go of my hand and took hers. He didn't stop looking at me though. This gave me the creeps.

"Oh. This i-is T-Trevor b-by the w-way.", he let us know without taking his eyes off me. Just now I noticed a green toad he held in his left hand. As if understanding what its owner just said, the ugly toad croaked loudly. Hannah and I started laughing and Neville joined us, his eyes on me. He grunted while laughing. Ewww.

The next time the door opened was right after the train began to roll. Two Indian girls stepped in, asked whether the seats were taken or not and sat down. They introduced themselves as Padma and Parvati Patil. We all began babbling again except for Neville who stared at me with his jaw dropped down. Freak!

I was in a great mood since I thought we all would become great friends. When the sky outside began to get darker and darker we decided to change into our school uniforms so we kicked Neville out of the cabin.

When Neville returned twenty minutes later he was pale and stuttered: "I-I l-lost T-Trevor. How c-could I-I l-lose T-Trevor? M-my g-grandma w-will k-kill m-me!"

"What?", I asked. "You lost your toad?"

He nodded slowly. "H-he j-jumped a-away w-when I-I changed i-in the r-restroom." Poor Neville looked like he was in fear of death.

"It's okay, Neville!", I tried to comfort him. "I will go and look for it, okay? I'll find it, I promise."

Hannah agreed to look for the damn toad as well and the Patil-sisters didn't want to stay behind with Neville so they wanted to go too. So we divided the train into four parts and each one of us was supposed to search through one part. I was assigned to the part from seat 111 to 220 so I went to the first seat of my part, seat 111, followed by Hannah who was assigned to the foremost part. I asked myself through every single cabin but without any success. Nobody had seen a slimy, green toad and nobody wanted to. I opened the next cabin-door and gulped. On one side of the cabin there were a slim black-haired boy and two fat boys, no THE two fat boys. On the opposite side there were a beautiful girl with blonde curls, blue eyes and a pretty angelic face, a pretty girl with black hair and also blue eyes and last but not least the boy with the platinum blond hair, grey wonderful eyes and the most awesome face I had ever seen. Well maybe the face of the angelic girl next to him was just as awesome as his. I starred at the boy for a few seconds then the black-haired boy wrenched me out of my trance through asking annoyed: "Yes?"

"Errrrr… I'm looking for the toad of Neville Longbottom."

No answer.

"Errrrr… have you seen it?"

"Why should we have seen the toad of Longbottom?", the angelic girl spat.

"Longbottom?", the black-haired boy spewed out as if it was a swearword. Then he began to laugh. "Weren't these the two idiots your aunt took care of, Malfoy?", he asked the boy who was apparently named Malfoy (what a weird name) and who was the platinum blond boy.

He smirked cruelly. "Yes."

"Whatever. Have you seen it or not?" I wanted to know.

A very girly giggle sounded. "What do you care about the loser Longbottom? He's such a hopeless case! There's no reason for speaking with such a traitor of course except for..." The angelic girl stopped mid-sentence and continued after a few seconds.

"What did you say was your name?", she asked me friendly.

"Hermione. Hermione Granger."

The girl turned towards her friends questioningly but they just shook there heads.

"So Hermione, where do you come from?" She spoke to me as if I was a three-year-old.

"Why?", I asked mistrustful.

"Are your parents wizards or…" Her voice trailed of while she gave me a mischievous smile.

"No. My parents are Muggels.", I answered.

"Muggels?", Malfoy spat as if it was the worst swearword on this planet or more the whole universe. Six pairs of eyes glared at me in disgust.

"Why? What's wrong about that?" I asked intimidated.

"What's wrong about that?" the angelic girl asked outraged and shared a few indignant glances with her friends.

"Fuck off.", Malfoy snarled. I didn't understand it. It didn't understand them. What was their problem? I obeyed his order though. After the door shut tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't understand it but what I understood was that it was ruled out that Malfoy would ever have feelings for me like I had for him. Because yes, I had feelings for him. Even though I was just eleven years old and even though I didn't even know him at all.

* * *

I had been close to crying but I had swallowed it back and had walked to the next cabins until I had found two certain boys, one red-haired and one black-haired in one. Yes, I had been a little touchy towards them but I had been heart-broken!

I've never told Harry, Ron and even Ginny about it. It was my secret. I was madly in love with Draco Malfoy. For some reason I've never managed to unlove myself. He dragged me through the mud, he made fun out of me, he hexed me and I spat back and never showed any weakness to him but as soon as I was alone I cried. I cried because of him and for him. In our third year I had blown some steam. I had punched Malfoy in the face. Not because of what he had just said but because I had been mad and hurt because he didn't love me and not even liked me. Of course everybody thought I wanted to defend Hagrid and Buckbeak but it wasn't true. I hadn't behaved selfless but more selfish than ever.

In our fourth year there had been the Yule Ball and Viktor Krum, seeker and hottie, had asked me to it. I had said yes. Because who I had wanted to go with never would have asked me, because I hadn't wanted to go all by myself and because I had secretly hoped that I would make him jealous and make him understand that he loved me. Which had been completely ridiculous of course. He had danced with some extremely hot chick and I had cried all night long. No wonder I had been a little unkind to Harry and Ron. I guess they still thought it was because of some comments by Ron.

Harry, Ron and Ginny had recognized that I never fancied anybody or was interested in anybody. This and the fact I often fought with Ron made them think I was secretly in love with Won-Won. As if. Ron was nice but no boyfriend-material. But I let them believe what they wanted to believe.

What had made me spit at Malfoy and never confess my real feelings? Well there were 7 extremely good reasons.

1. Malfoy was an ass and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be with someone like that.

2. I was a mudblood and Malfoy hated me.

3. He was a player and a flirt – he wouldn't settle down so soon.

4. Even if I was a Pureblood and he wasn't a player – half of the school fancied Malfoy (the other half was male or gay), so why would he want me?

5. His parents never would approve of it.

6. Harry and Ron never would approve of it.

7. I was a coward.

Were these reasons extremely good or were they extremely good? However I regretted that I had never told him every single day. But at the same time I knew why I never had. I guess you understand why I was kind of shocked when all those extremely good reasons slowly vanished into thin air.

**Okay it's kinda short but hey: it's only a prolog, isn't it? Review! Thx!**

**=)**


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